Going all the Way: Q and A Top Questions

We're wrapping up a series at Rev called Going all the Way. This past Wednesday as well as the weekend we had the Rev staff and 2 of our leaders answer students questions on sex, dating, and the single life. Here are some of the best questions we got:

1. How much does a kiss mean to you?
   
2. Is it ok for gays to have parades or whatever according to God?
3. How far is too far?
4. How do you know when you've found "the one"
5. How do you tell someone you don't love them when they tell you they love you?
6. Is masturbation ok?
7. How sacred is marriage? If it's so sacred how did it get so demoralized in our culture? What is God's view of marriage?
8. Where do we need to get our love? Not the dating kind, but the kind where you know who you are and than you're loved and that we're important...and how?
   
9. What sort of situations should you avoid being in with the opposite sex?
   
10. How do I get over the brokenness of breaking off a bad relationship?
    
11. My entire family has never abstained from sex before marriage. How do I keep myself pure when I'm surrounded by that negative influence?
    
12. Is sex before marriage ok if you've been together a long time or if you're engaged (you know you'll be with them the rest of your life.)
13. What do you do if you have a bf/gf and your parents don't know about it?
14. Is it possible for relationships that aren't God-centered to survive? How does our society do it?
15. What are some specific standards and boundaries in your relationships with others of the opposite sex?
16. What if one of your friends cheated on their bf/gf... what do you do?
17. What is the difference/line between infatuation and real love?
18. What do you do if your parents are encouraging you to wear make up and date the "right" guys for your reputation?
19. How do you get over a broken heart?
20. Where do you see most people "miss it" when it comes to dating?
    
21. What if I've had sex with my bf/gf and can't stop... I know it's wrong, but it's so hard. What can I do?
    
22. What if I'm in a relationship I know I shouldn't be in, but I'm afraid to break it off?
    

Some great questions and there were many more... these were students 12-18 years old... it's cool to see they're interested in what God has to say on these subjects! The podcasts should be up soon if you'd like to listen...

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Sunday Night Reflections 9.14.08

It's been a pretty sweet week... here are some thoughts:

New Season of Rev- Today we had our last service without a youth pastor. It's been a little over a year of Sean, Zack, and I running youth. I am excited for a new season of Rev and to see it go to another level. I just helped move in our new youth pastor (Nathan Hurst), he is a great guy and I am pumped to see God work through him!

19 North - Zack and Lauren and doing a whole month series called "Co-Ed" which is on sex, dating, and the single life. It's a great series. Last night ZB took talked to the ladies and Lauren talked to the guys. I would recommend listening to the podcasts! Also, we're having the first ever Silver Ring Thing 20-something event at Victory through 19 North this Friday. Do not miss that!

Redefining Relationships - Craig Groeschel had a great blog series this week on redefining relationships. He talked about how the bigger a church gets, the bigger our families become, and as we just grow up in life, we have to constantly be redefining our relationships with people. I'm just starting to see this in ministry and I am realizing it is a very hard thing to go through. Craig's insight really helped me out.

Loves Correction and Submission and Authority - I've been feeding on these two series by Keith Moore... they pretty much rocked my world. Everyone (especially young leaders) need to listen to these two series (along with all of Keith Moore's series!!)

Fear Factor - So we're having a month long Fear Factor competition at Rev. It's been crazy! We had our 2nd round this past Wednesday and made students bob for worms in all kind of nasty junk. It was a blast and I'm pumped for next week... only 4 contestants left!

I'm going out to watch the Steelers game with some great friends tonight... until next time! Love you guys!

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Satan's Sex Ed II

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Alcohol, Purity, and Our Culture (Part II)

Purity

I was inspired to do this series based on conversations I'd hear my classmates have during class and the recent happenings at the MTV VMA's the other night where sexual purity both got promoted and ridiculed. Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, had a wonderful blog post on this that you should read. Also, I posted Satan's Sex Ed video that I'd like you to view before continuing this read.

I wear one of these purity rings that I got through a program called Silver Ring Thing. Everywhere I go, I get asked, "Are you married?" and depending on who asks, I give them different answers (Just kidding!). I then go on to explain that I am not married and that it's a purity ring. I get confused looks and then I like to throw people off by telling them it means "No Ding before the Ring!". 90-95% of the responses I get are "O" "Thats respectable" "Thats Nice" etc.. The subject of sexual abstinence is so foreign to the majority of this world and that needs to change! So here are some thoughts sexual purity and purity of the heart.

Why I've Chosen to Commit to Sexual Abstinence:

• God has called us to that standard!
  

• I want to be able to look at my wife on my wedding day and tell her that I haven't shared myself with anyone but her... that she was well worth the wait and she has all of me.
  

• I want to KNOW my potential mate before I marry her . . . being a guy . . . I realize that if I start wetting my sexual appetite, then how I treat that girl will be to get an outcome that evening...I won't truly care about to know her as a person (her dreams, passions, etc.), then when we're married I would start learning who she really is and may not even like her! All because I was selfish in the dating season...
  

• Love and Sex are not the same thing - If Sex = Love then Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston would have had the best relationship on earth (I'm assuming some things!) People who have this mindset go into marriage setting themselves up for horrible disappointment and a ton of pain.
  

• I want to enjoy a lifetime of good sex! - I've come to know that people will have as much sex as they can from 18-25 (average), with as many people as they can, and the end up forfeiting 40-50 years of good sex, for that 5-7 years of monkey sex!

• I want to be able to look my kids in the eyes and tell them that their parents waited and it's something they need to do!
  

I've Committed to Sexual Abstinence and Now:

• As a result, so many choices come with that package...
  
• Not being alone with a girl
• Not dating someone I wouldn't be willing to marry
• I would never date someone who doesn't have the same values as I do (unequally yoked in anyway)
  
• Getting strict accountability through mentors if I pursue a dating relationship
  

• Once you have committed to Sexual Abstinence, I think as Christian we put so much emphasis on that, that we don't guard our hearts at all. We need to have pure hearts just as much as we need pure bodies. I want to give my future wife a pure heart just as much as I do a pure body.
  

This was a bit lengthy, but 2 things before I go:

1.) I can't tell you the joy I have knowing that on my wedding day I'll give my purity ring to my wife, and she'll give me hers, and I'll look her in the eye and tell her she was well worth the wait. You can do the exact same thing and that should be your vision!

2.) If you've already messed up in this area, it's ok. Again, I say it all the time, but "Although you cannot go back and have a brand new start my friend, you can start now and have a brand new end!" If this is hard for you... send me an e-mail (douglasasmith53@gmail.com) and I'd love to talk it out with you.

What are your thoughts on sexual purity?

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Satan's Sex Ed

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